Our week was off to a great start. We awoke before 6:30 on Monday and Tuesday. SE had her speech/language evaluation at B’s school on Tuesday. The therapist bragged on what a bright and charming girl she was. When I picked her up I was given a parent form to fill out. This makes me hopeful for some reason that she will qualify for therapy. I’ve tried to speak with the therapist regarding the application several times this week, but have yet to speak with her. I took her back to school and things were fine.
Wednesday, we overslept and she didn’t get to school until 9:45. Despite the extra sleep she was still angry and combative. After school she didn’t want to go to tennis. She complained of being tired and said the kids at school had been mean. I explained that I would prefer she go to tennis since I pay dearly for it, but I would let her miss once.
Thursday, she was still angry and combative in the morning. When I picked her up from school she was visibly upset. She handed me her interim report all her grades were A’s and B’s with a “C” in conduct. The “C” was what had her in a tizzy. I asked her why she had the “C” and she said it was partly due to the in-school suspension from last week and that when other children were being mean to her and she told her teacher the teacher gave HER the conduct mark. For SE nothing is ever her fault. The blame always lies elsewhere, but to see her so sad just broke my heart. After I had spoken with the therapist about both the children like I do each week I was sitting in the waiting room with her. I couldn’t hold it in any longer, I began to cry. She was distressed even more by this and asked why I was crying. I explained to her I was crying because I loved her very much and it hurt me to see her in such pain and not be able to help. I explained that I couldn’t be responsible for her happiness, that was something she had to do, but I would do anything in my power to help her if she would only let me. She seemed to be receptive to this and had a good session with her therapist. Later that night we talked some more and I asked her about learning how to pray as well. She said she would like to know how I approached it and I shared with her. My faith and prayer are integral part of my life. It’s not for everyone I know and that’s perfectly fine, but it’s what gets me through the day.
Friday, was an okay day for SE. I had sent an email to her teacher the night before trying to get a grasp on the situation at school. The email I received shocked me to say the least. I knew her behaviors at home were worsening, but had no idea as to the extent they were at school. She explained that SE had attempted to forge my name three times at school, not two like I thought. She constantly sits on top of her desk and refuses to get down when asked which results in a conduct mark. She will be given a directive and may or may not do it. When other children try and engage her in play she snaps at them. I asked why none of this has been brought to my attention and have yet to receive a reply. I’m in contact with someone from the developmental studies center where B was diagnosed and I am hoping to get her in soon.
Saturday, she and I spent a lovely afternoon together at a local bookstore. We both love to read. Afterward I took her to her favorite restaurant for dinner and dessert. We enjoyed the time spent together.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
B's week of ups and downs
Our week started off as usual; on Monday we were all up at 6am with no problems from anyone. Wednesday our alarm didn’t go off and we woke up at 8:30. I got B to school by 9 and SE shortly after. Around 11am I got a call from B’s teacher he had been and fight and was being dismissed from school for the day. I drove there with my heart in my throat, praying this wouldn’t be our final day there. When I arrived he and his teacher were waiting for me in the lobby. He sat on the opposite side of the lobby from us and would not come to us when we asked. He looked miserable. His teacher showed me the incident report and went over it with me. B and a friend had been innocently playing tag when B put him in a choke-hold, threw him to the ground and punched him in the eye. B then proceeded to call him an expletive and give him a very vulgar directive; he had to be pulled off the child by two other students. I can assure you this not typical behavior for my son. I was shocked and mortified to say the least. I was told he would be able to return to school the following day and was greatly relieved by this news. Now I had to figure out what had caused the problem. I had immediately put in a call to the psychiatrist as soon as I heard there had been a fight he called as we were getting in the car to leave school. He called as we were getting in the car; he prescribed we up the dosage of the new medication 20mg. I trust him so that’s what I did. In the car B was crying, he was embarrassed, ashamed and remorseful. He thought everyone at the school was going to hate him and he was afraid I was going to send him back to the hospital for hurting someone. After arriving home it took me a long while to calm him and allay his fears. I explained that sometimes saying “sorry” wasn’t enough you have to prove it with your actions. I told him that the child might not forgive him right away and that was okay, he would eventually. I also explained that no one at the school hated him or was mad at him they were just worried about him. He eventually calmed down enough to do the work he was assigned and then we wrote a letter of apology to the child. The next day he returned to school and was welcomed with open arms by everyone. I had to go to the classroom to give them extra medication due to the change in dosage and everything seemed in sync. The grandmother of the child is the teacher’s assistant and profusely apologized to her for the incident. She was very gracious and said she understood. I have tried contacting the parents, but they haven’t returned my calls.
The rest of the week was pleasant. He had a great pragmatics class where he made a frozen dessert for Thanksgiving which we’ll be carrying to my mother’s. He was very proud of that and can’t wait to share something he made with our family. OT was great as well we received a great report from the therapist. On Thursday he had talk therapy which he happily complied with. Thursday night he and I talked about prayer, he prays every night. I asked him if he would like me to share with him how I pray. I told him he is always in my prayers; that he and SE are the most important things in the world to their father and me. He said he didn’t know this. His lack of self-esteem is amazing to me sometimes. We just have to be vigilant in affirming our love for him and pride in him. Friday came and went. Saturday he wanted a friend over. We called a few and finally one called us back. He ended up coming over for a couple hours in the afternoon and my husband took them to dinner. B has been invited to his house this afternoon. I’m so pleased for him! He’s so excited he’s been up since 6am waiting. I pray all goes well.
The rest of the week was pleasant. He had a great pragmatics class where he made a frozen dessert for Thanksgiving which we’ll be carrying to my mother’s. He was very proud of that and can’t wait to share something he made with our family. OT was great as well we received a great report from the therapist. On Thursday he had talk therapy which he happily complied with. Thursday night he and I talked about prayer, he prays every night. I asked him if he would like me to share with him how I pray. I told him he is always in my prayers; that he and SE are the most important things in the world to their father and me. He said he didn’t know this. His lack of self-esteem is amazing to me sometimes. We just have to be vigilant in affirming our love for him and pride in him. Friday came and went. Saturday he wanted a friend over. We called a few and finally one called us back. He ended up coming over for a couple hours in the afternoon and my husband took them to dinner. B has been invited to his house this afternoon. I’m so pleased for him! He’s so excited he’s been up since 6am waiting. I pray all goes well.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
OT Journal Nov. 15 2009
Bennett was awake at a decent hour this morning. The new med change is keeping him up later so he sleeps in. It also makes him eat less. I gave him his noon medication a little late, but I'm wondering if he should take it at all since the new medication he takes is only twice a day. Shortly after taking his medication he began to be upset over the least little thing. He had a two hour crying jag over not being able to get another cat. He was inconsolable and angry. I'm worried about him taking this medication by itself especially at school. I want to speak to his psychiatrist about it as soon as possible. He's calm now and has had his bath. He's still awake which is highly unusual.
OT Journal Nov. 14 2009
B changed some meds today. We are watching for any signs of changes in behavior. I forgot to give him his noon medication. Things went well today, he played with his sister all day. My husband and I went out in the evening and the sitter didn't report anything unusual.
Friday, November 13, 2009
B's OT journal Nov 13th 2009
B completed all work at school today. He found doing his math in the hallway to be less distracting. Yay!
He is now outstide playing with his sister.
He is now outstide playing with his sister.
B's OT Journal Nov 12th 2009
After his appointment with the psychiatrist we went shopping. He asked for a book. I told him I would only buy age appropriate books. He has a tendency toward books for children much younger than himself. He chose such a book and I refused to purchase it. He became angry and refused to move from in front of the cart. I quietly removed him from my path and headed for the checkout where he asked for a treat. I told him his behavior didn't merit a treat so he wouln't be receiving one. This upset him. He began to ask if he was in trouble. I explained that he was not, but I was not going to fall for his manipulation of the situation. He continued with the "Am I in trouble." thing for quite some time. Finally I said no, but you are very stubborn. This outraged him and he called me a liar. I ignored him and the whole thing just blew over.
After therapy, B finsished his homework with no trouble. We went out for a nice dinner with ice cream afterward. He was in bed by 8:30 after taking his meds.
After therapy, B finsished his homework with no trouble. We went out for a nice dinner with ice cream afterward. He was in bed by 8:30 after taking his meds.
Emotions and Appointments
Sorry for not writing yesterday. Things got off to a rocky start. We woke up at 7:50am that meant not only were we going to be late, but I had to get both kids to school since Bart had to be at work ASAP. I managed to get B to school at 8:15 and came back for SE. When came back to pick her up she wasn’t even dressed. This of course frustrated me to no end. Finally, with much drama I had her ready to go. She was screaming about food. I told her if she had gotten up and dressed when asked she would have had time for food, but now there was no time. She would have to wait until I picked her up at 11:30. This of course made her very angry and she screamed at me and told me she hated me. I finally got her to school at 9:20am.
I had my regularly scheduled therapy appointment at 9:45. Our main point of discussion was SE’s lying and how it should be handled. My therapist suggested I shouldn’t have punished her at home. She said the event happened at school and the school took care of the discipline. Thinking she should be punished further was an archaic notion. She also said we should let SE know we always be there to love and support her no matter what, which we do anyway. She stressed the importance of making SE aware of the fact that whether or not she actually did commit the act, in the past she’s done things to lose our trust as well as the people at the schools. She will have to work extra hard to regain that trust and possibly endure some things she doesn’t like.
At lunch, B & SE had appointments with their psychiatrist. He’s a wonderful man. He’s doesn’t just see them for med checks. He wants to know how things are going at home and in school. What I like most about him is he engages the children as well as me in the conversation. Their thoughts and opinions matter. He’s also a straight shooter, no bullshit. He tells it like it is and if you don’t like it too bad.
He addressed SE’s lying. She recounted her tale and he called it bending the truth. He said it would serve her well if she ever decided to become a lawyer, but it was not a good attribute for a 10 year-old. He told her how smart she was and how he knew that she knew better than to do these things and if she kept them up pretty soon no one would trust her at all. She seemed to take this to heart. She also told him how unhappy she was at her current school, how unchallenged and isolated she felt. He told her she was likely to feel that way anywhere she went because she was such a smart girl and the best thing to do would be to just accept who she was and be comfortable with it.
Next he moved to B. I told him how well things were going for him at school and at home with only a few bumps here and there. Then I told him about the previous Friday when B chose to come home from school and the aggression he showed toward me. He asked me what his consequences were for hitting and kicking me. I didn’t have an answer. There really hadn’t been any. He said, “Asperger’s kids are concrete thinkers. You have to do things in concrete terms.” He asked B what he thought I would do I a man hit or kicked me. B said something like, call the police and stay away from him. The Dr. said, “Yes, So what’s she supposed to do when you hit and kick her?” B didn’t have an answer for that. The Dr. said he should have been disciplined for at least a couple of days. That meant when he asked to do something bringing up the entire incident again and reminding him why he couldn’t do the thing he wanted. Letting him know that you’re still hurt and angry over what happened. He can apologize and be sorry all he wants but it can’t make up for the violence that he did to you. It has to stop. He told B he was not a bad kid, but if he continued to do bad things to me others might start to only see the bad in him and view him as a bad kid so it was important to get a hold on his emotions when he was angry and not lash out. B listened. I don’t think he liked it but he listened.
Later in the afternoon both children had talk therapy. I think this gave them a chance to talk more about their feelings and talk about their visit with the doctor. I think it well for both of them.
I had my regularly scheduled therapy appointment at 9:45. Our main point of discussion was SE’s lying and how it should be handled. My therapist suggested I shouldn’t have punished her at home. She said the event happened at school and the school took care of the discipline. Thinking she should be punished further was an archaic notion. She also said we should let SE know we always be there to love and support her no matter what, which we do anyway. She stressed the importance of making SE aware of the fact that whether or not she actually did commit the act, in the past she’s done things to lose our trust as well as the people at the schools. She will have to work extra hard to regain that trust and possibly endure some things she doesn’t like.
At lunch, B & SE had appointments with their psychiatrist. He’s a wonderful man. He’s doesn’t just see them for med checks. He wants to know how things are going at home and in school. What I like most about him is he engages the children as well as me in the conversation. Their thoughts and opinions matter. He’s also a straight shooter, no bullshit. He tells it like it is and if you don’t like it too bad.
He addressed SE’s lying. She recounted her tale and he called it bending the truth. He said it would serve her well if she ever decided to become a lawyer, but it was not a good attribute for a 10 year-old. He told her how smart she was and how he knew that she knew better than to do these things and if she kept them up pretty soon no one would trust her at all. She seemed to take this to heart. She also told him how unhappy she was at her current school, how unchallenged and isolated she felt. He told her she was likely to feel that way anywhere she went because she was such a smart girl and the best thing to do would be to just accept who she was and be comfortable with it.
Next he moved to B. I told him how well things were going for him at school and at home with only a few bumps here and there. Then I told him about the previous Friday when B chose to come home from school and the aggression he showed toward me. He asked me what his consequences were for hitting and kicking me. I didn’t have an answer. There really hadn’t been any. He said, “Asperger’s kids are concrete thinkers. You have to do things in concrete terms.” He asked B what he thought I would do I a man hit or kicked me. B said something like, call the police and stay away from him. The Dr. said, “Yes, So what’s she supposed to do when you hit and kick her?” B didn’t have an answer for that. The Dr. said he should have been disciplined for at least a couple of days. That meant when he asked to do something bringing up the entire incident again and reminding him why he couldn’t do the thing he wanted. Letting him know that you’re still hurt and angry over what happened. He can apologize and be sorry all he wants but it can’t make up for the violence that he did to you. It has to stop. He told B he was not a bad kid, but if he continued to do bad things to me others might start to only see the bad in him and view him as a bad kid so it was important to get a hold on his emotions when he was angry and not lash out. B listened. I don’t think he liked it but he listened.
Later in the afternoon both children had talk therapy. I think this gave them a chance to talk more about their feelings and talk about their visit with the doctor. I think it well for both of them.
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