Our week was off to a great start. We awoke before 6:30 on Monday and Tuesday. SE had her speech/language evaluation at B’s school on Tuesday. The therapist bragged on what a bright and charming girl she was. When I picked her up I was given a parent form to fill out. This makes me hopeful for some reason that she will qualify for therapy. I’ve tried to speak with the therapist regarding the application several times this week, but have yet to speak with her. I took her back to school and things were fine.
Wednesday, we overslept and she didn’t get to school until 9:45. Despite the extra sleep she was still angry and combative. After school she didn’t want to go to tennis. She complained of being tired and said the kids at school had been mean. I explained that I would prefer she go to tennis since I pay dearly for it, but I would let her miss once.
Thursday, she was still angry and combative in the morning. When I picked her up from school she was visibly upset. She handed me her interim report all her grades were A’s and B’s with a “C” in conduct. The “C” was what had her in a tizzy. I asked her why she had the “C” and she said it was partly due to the in-school suspension from last week and that when other children were being mean to her and she told her teacher the teacher gave HER the conduct mark. For SE nothing is ever her fault. The blame always lies elsewhere, but to see her so sad just broke my heart. After I had spoken with the therapist about both the children like I do each week I was sitting in the waiting room with her. I couldn’t hold it in any longer, I began to cry. She was distressed even more by this and asked why I was crying. I explained to her I was crying because I loved her very much and it hurt me to see her in such pain and not be able to help. I explained that I couldn’t be responsible for her happiness, that was something she had to do, but I would do anything in my power to help her if she would only let me. She seemed to be receptive to this and had a good session with her therapist. Later that night we talked some more and I asked her about learning how to pray as well. She said she would like to know how I approached it and I shared with her. My faith and prayer are integral part of my life. It’s not for everyone I know and that’s perfectly fine, but it’s what gets me through the day.
Friday, was an okay day for SE. I had sent an email to her teacher the night before trying to get a grasp on the situation at school. The email I received shocked me to say the least. I knew her behaviors at home were worsening, but had no idea as to the extent they were at school. She explained that SE had attempted to forge my name three times at school, not two like I thought. She constantly sits on top of her desk and refuses to get down when asked which results in a conduct mark. She will be given a directive and may or may not do it. When other children try and engage her in play she snaps at them. I asked why none of this has been brought to my attention and have yet to receive a reply. I’m in contact with someone from the developmental studies center where B was diagnosed and I am hoping to get her in soon.
Saturday, she and I spent a lovely afternoon together at a local bookstore. We both love to read. Afterward I took her to her favorite restaurant for dinner and dessert. We enjoyed the time spent together.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
B's week of ups and downs
Our week started off as usual; on Monday we were all up at 6am with no problems from anyone. Wednesday our alarm didn’t go off and we woke up at 8:30. I got B to school by 9 and SE shortly after. Around 11am I got a call from B’s teacher he had been and fight and was being dismissed from school for the day. I drove there with my heart in my throat, praying this wouldn’t be our final day there. When I arrived he and his teacher were waiting for me in the lobby. He sat on the opposite side of the lobby from us and would not come to us when we asked. He looked miserable. His teacher showed me the incident report and went over it with me. B and a friend had been innocently playing tag when B put him in a choke-hold, threw him to the ground and punched him in the eye. B then proceeded to call him an expletive and give him a very vulgar directive; he had to be pulled off the child by two other students. I can assure you this not typical behavior for my son. I was shocked and mortified to say the least. I was told he would be able to return to school the following day and was greatly relieved by this news. Now I had to figure out what had caused the problem. I had immediately put in a call to the psychiatrist as soon as I heard there had been a fight he called as we were getting in the car to leave school. He called as we were getting in the car; he prescribed we up the dosage of the new medication 20mg. I trust him so that’s what I did. In the car B was crying, he was embarrassed, ashamed and remorseful. He thought everyone at the school was going to hate him and he was afraid I was going to send him back to the hospital for hurting someone. After arriving home it took me a long while to calm him and allay his fears. I explained that sometimes saying “sorry” wasn’t enough you have to prove it with your actions. I told him that the child might not forgive him right away and that was okay, he would eventually. I also explained that no one at the school hated him or was mad at him they were just worried about him. He eventually calmed down enough to do the work he was assigned and then we wrote a letter of apology to the child. The next day he returned to school and was welcomed with open arms by everyone. I had to go to the classroom to give them extra medication due to the change in dosage and everything seemed in sync. The grandmother of the child is the teacher’s assistant and profusely apologized to her for the incident. She was very gracious and said she understood. I have tried contacting the parents, but they haven’t returned my calls.
The rest of the week was pleasant. He had a great pragmatics class where he made a frozen dessert for Thanksgiving which we’ll be carrying to my mother’s. He was very proud of that and can’t wait to share something he made with our family. OT was great as well we received a great report from the therapist. On Thursday he had talk therapy which he happily complied with. Thursday night he and I talked about prayer, he prays every night. I asked him if he would like me to share with him how I pray. I told him he is always in my prayers; that he and SE are the most important things in the world to their father and me. He said he didn’t know this. His lack of self-esteem is amazing to me sometimes. We just have to be vigilant in affirming our love for him and pride in him. Friday came and went. Saturday he wanted a friend over. We called a few and finally one called us back. He ended up coming over for a couple hours in the afternoon and my husband took them to dinner. B has been invited to his house this afternoon. I’m so pleased for him! He’s so excited he’s been up since 6am waiting. I pray all goes well.
The rest of the week was pleasant. He had a great pragmatics class where he made a frozen dessert for Thanksgiving which we’ll be carrying to my mother’s. He was very proud of that and can’t wait to share something he made with our family. OT was great as well we received a great report from the therapist. On Thursday he had talk therapy which he happily complied with. Thursday night he and I talked about prayer, he prays every night. I asked him if he would like me to share with him how I pray. I told him he is always in my prayers; that he and SE are the most important things in the world to their father and me. He said he didn’t know this. His lack of self-esteem is amazing to me sometimes. We just have to be vigilant in affirming our love for him and pride in him. Friday came and went. Saturday he wanted a friend over. We called a few and finally one called us back. He ended up coming over for a couple hours in the afternoon and my husband took them to dinner. B has been invited to his house this afternoon. I’m so pleased for him! He’s so excited he’s been up since 6am waiting. I pray all goes well.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
OT Journal Nov. 15 2009
Bennett was awake at a decent hour this morning. The new med change is keeping him up later so he sleeps in. It also makes him eat less. I gave him his noon medication a little late, but I'm wondering if he should take it at all since the new medication he takes is only twice a day. Shortly after taking his medication he began to be upset over the least little thing. He had a two hour crying jag over not being able to get another cat. He was inconsolable and angry. I'm worried about him taking this medication by itself especially at school. I want to speak to his psychiatrist about it as soon as possible. He's calm now and has had his bath. He's still awake which is highly unusual.
OT Journal Nov. 14 2009
B changed some meds today. We are watching for any signs of changes in behavior. I forgot to give him his noon medication. Things went well today, he played with his sister all day. My husband and I went out in the evening and the sitter didn't report anything unusual.
Friday, November 13, 2009
B's OT journal Nov 13th 2009
B completed all work at school today. He found doing his math in the hallway to be less distracting. Yay!
He is now outstide playing with his sister.
He is now outstide playing with his sister.
B's OT Journal Nov 12th 2009
After his appointment with the psychiatrist we went shopping. He asked for a book. I told him I would only buy age appropriate books. He has a tendency toward books for children much younger than himself. He chose such a book and I refused to purchase it. He became angry and refused to move from in front of the cart. I quietly removed him from my path and headed for the checkout where he asked for a treat. I told him his behavior didn't merit a treat so he wouln't be receiving one. This upset him. He began to ask if he was in trouble. I explained that he was not, but I was not going to fall for his manipulation of the situation. He continued with the "Am I in trouble." thing for quite some time. Finally I said no, but you are very stubborn. This outraged him and he called me a liar. I ignored him and the whole thing just blew over.
After therapy, B finsished his homework with no trouble. We went out for a nice dinner with ice cream afterward. He was in bed by 8:30 after taking his meds.
After therapy, B finsished his homework with no trouble. We went out for a nice dinner with ice cream afterward. He was in bed by 8:30 after taking his meds.
Emotions and Appointments
Sorry for not writing yesterday. Things got off to a rocky start. We woke up at 7:50am that meant not only were we going to be late, but I had to get both kids to school since Bart had to be at work ASAP. I managed to get B to school at 8:15 and came back for SE. When came back to pick her up she wasn’t even dressed. This of course frustrated me to no end. Finally, with much drama I had her ready to go. She was screaming about food. I told her if she had gotten up and dressed when asked she would have had time for food, but now there was no time. She would have to wait until I picked her up at 11:30. This of course made her very angry and she screamed at me and told me she hated me. I finally got her to school at 9:20am.
I had my regularly scheduled therapy appointment at 9:45. Our main point of discussion was SE’s lying and how it should be handled. My therapist suggested I shouldn’t have punished her at home. She said the event happened at school and the school took care of the discipline. Thinking she should be punished further was an archaic notion. She also said we should let SE know we always be there to love and support her no matter what, which we do anyway. She stressed the importance of making SE aware of the fact that whether or not she actually did commit the act, in the past she’s done things to lose our trust as well as the people at the schools. She will have to work extra hard to regain that trust and possibly endure some things she doesn’t like.
At lunch, B & SE had appointments with their psychiatrist. He’s a wonderful man. He’s doesn’t just see them for med checks. He wants to know how things are going at home and in school. What I like most about him is he engages the children as well as me in the conversation. Their thoughts and opinions matter. He’s also a straight shooter, no bullshit. He tells it like it is and if you don’t like it too bad.
He addressed SE’s lying. She recounted her tale and he called it bending the truth. He said it would serve her well if she ever decided to become a lawyer, but it was not a good attribute for a 10 year-old. He told her how smart she was and how he knew that she knew better than to do these things and if she kept them up pretty soon no one would trust her at all. She seemed to take this to heart. She also told him how unhappy she was at her current school, how unchallenged and isolated she felt. He told her she was likely to feel that way anywhere she went because she was such a smart girl and the best thing to do would be to just accept who she was and be comfortable with it.
Next he moved to B. I told him how well things were going for him at school and at home with only a few bumps here and there. Then I told him about the previous Friday when B chose to come home from school and the aggression he showed toward me. He asked me what his consequences were for hitting and kicking me. I didn’t have an answer. There really hadn’t been any. He said, “Asperger’s kids are concrete thinkers. You have to do things in concrete terms.” He asked B what he thought I would do I a man hit or kicked me. B said something like, call the police and stay away from him. The Dr. said, “Yes, So what’s she supposed to do when you hit and kick her?” B didn’t have an answer for that. The Dr. said he should have been disciplined for at least a couple of days. That meant when he asked to do something bringing up the entire incident again and reminding him why he couldn’t do the thing he wanted. Letting him know that you’re still hurt and angry over what happened. He can apologize and be sorry all he wants but it can’t make up for the violence that he did to you. It has to stop. He told B he was not a bad kid, but if he continued to do bad things to me others might start to only see the bad in him and view him as a bad kid so it was important to get a hold on his emotions when he was angry and not lash out. B listened. I don’t think he liked it but he listened.
Later in the afternoon both children had talk therapy. I think this gave them a chance to talk more about their feelings and talk about their visit with the doctor. I think it well for both of them.
I had my regularly scheduled therapy appointment at 9:45. Our main point of discussion was SE’s lying and how it should be handled. My therapist suggested I shouldn’t have punished her at home. She said the event happened at school and the school took care of the discipline. Thinking she should be punished further was an archaic notion. She also said we should let SE know we always be there to love and support her no matter what, which we do anyway. She stressed the importance of making SE aware of the fact that whether or not she actually did commit the act, in the past she’s done things to lose our trust as well as the people at the schools. She will have to work extra hard to regain that trust and possibly endure some things she doesn’t like.
At lunch, B & SE had appointments with their psychiatrist. He’s a wonderful man. He’s doesn’t just see them for med checks. He wants to know how things are going at home and in school. What I like most about him is he engages the children as well as me in the conversation. Their thoughts and opinions matter. He’s also a straight shooter, no bullshit. He tells it like it is and if you don’t like it too bad.
He addressed SE’s lying. She recounted her tale and he called it bending the truth. He said it would serve her well if she ever decided to become a lawyer, but it was not a good attribute for a 10 year-old. He told her how smart she was and how he knew that she knew better than to do these things and if she kept them up pretty soon no one would trust her at all. She seemed to take this to heart. She also told him how unhappy she was at her current school, how unchallenged and isolated she felt. He told her she was likely to feel that way anywhere she went because she was such a smart girl and the best thing to do would be to just accept who she was and be comfortable with it.
Next he moved to B. I told him how well things were going for him at school and at home with only a few bumps here and there. Then I told him about the previous Friday when B chose to come home from school and the aggression he showed toward me. He asked me what his consequences were for hitting and kicking me. I didn’t have an answer. There really hadn’t been any. He said, “Asperger’s kids are concrete thinkers. You have to do things in concrete terms.” He asked B what he thought I would do I a man hit or kicked me. B said something like, call the police and stay away from him. The Dr. said, “Yes, So what’s she supposed to do when you hit and kick her?” B didn’t have an answer for that. The Dr. said he should have been disciplined for at least a couple of days. That meant when he asked to do something bringing up the entire incident again and reminding him why he couldn’t do the thing he wanted. Letting him know that you’re still hurt and angry over what happened. He can apologize and be sorry all he wants but it can’t make up for the violence that he did to you. It has to stop. He told B he was not a bad kid, but if he continued to do bad things to me others might start to only see the bad in him and view him as a bad kid so it was important to get a hold on his emotions when he was angry and not lash out. B listened. I don’t think he liked it but he listened.
Later in the afternoon both children had talk therapy. I think this gave them a chance to talk more about their feelings and talk about their visit with the doctor. I think it well for both of them.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
SE
SE was difficult to get out the door to school as usual this morning. I got a call this afternoon from her principal. It seems she forged my signature on her graded paper then lied about it.
She earned herself 2 days of in-school suspension. I didn't allow her to go to tennis this afternoon as punishment.
When I picked her up from school she'd been crying and continued to cry and deny the entire incident though we had proof. I don't know what to do. This isn't the first time she's lied about something and denied it. It's becoming worse. The things she lies about range from large to small, significant to insignificant. I'm troubled and perplexed as to how to help her with this. She gets angry when we tell her we can't trust her, but the fact of the matter is we can't. She has a doctors appointment and therapy tomorrow. Hopefully they will be able to shed some light on the matter.
She earned herself 2 days of in-school suspension. I didn't allow her to go to tennis this afternoon as punishment.
When I picked her up from school she'd been crying and continued to cry and deny the entire incident though we had proof. I don't know what to do. This isn't the first time she's lied about something and denied it. It's becoming worse. The things she lies about range from large to small, significant to insignificant. I'm troubled and perplexed as to how to help her with this. She gets angry when we tell her we can't trust her, but the fact of the matter is we can't. She has a doctors appointment and therapy tomorrow. Hopefully they will be able to shed some light on the matter.
B's OT Journal #11 Nov. 11th 2009
B completed all his work at school today so no homework. We are very proud!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
B's OT Journal #10 Nov. 10th, 2009
Bennett went to school happily this morning. We met his teacher for a conference. Everything seems to be going smoothly. He had pragmatics this afternoon then went for bowling night with the school. He returned home at 8pm. He is currently doing home work with his dad.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Obeservations on SE
As ususual SE morning started with a bang. Crying, she refused to come up stairs. Once upstairs she was in a very foul mood and still crying. I'd asked her last night to remove nail polish from her fingernails so she wouldn't receive a uniform violation. She had not done this and infomed me that she wanted the violation. I had to hold her down to get the polish removed. She could not find one of her shoes and was angry about that. I told her she had to wear her tennis shoes, at first she admantly refused, but relented in the end. Finally she was out the door for school. I fear her Asperger's symptoms are becoming more pronounced,
B's OT Observations #9 Nov. 9th 2009
B awoke eearly this morning ready for school and took his meds. We discussed behaviors and their consequenses. He assured me he will make better choices today.
B is home from school. He has phonics homework, but cannot remember what page and I can't tell because they skip around in the book. He also has grammar, but did not bring home his book. We had yet another discussion about making poor choices. He says he forgets and I say that is no excuse. I told him he is a very smart boy and is capable of remembering these thing.
He went to bed at 8:30 after taking his meds.
B is home from school. He has phonics homework, but cannot remember what page and I can't tell because they skip around in the book. He also has grammar, but did not bring home his book. We had yet another discussion about making poor choices. He says he forgets and I say that is no excuse. I told him he is a very smart boy and is capable of remembering these thing.
He went to bed at 8:30 after taking his meds.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
B's OT Observations #8 Nov. 8th
He awoke at 5:30 this morning ready for the day. He took his meds at 6. He's been on the go all morning.
Took meds at 11:30 and played a round of golf with dad this afternoon.
Bed at 7:30pm
Took meds at 11:30 and played a round of golf with dad this afternoon.
Bed at 7:30pm
Saturday, November 7, 2009
SE Observations
12:36pm SE has not had her med today. I left the house this morning at 8:30. Prior to that she was awakened to find gum in her hair put there by her brother. She was extremely distraught,. After cutting the gum out of her hair she went back to bed. At some point while I was gone with B. Her dad, who is sick in bed gave her permission to make pancakes. She made a complete mess of the kitchen and no pancakes were made. She does not want to go to tennis. Why, I'm not sure. She will have to go with me, B and my mother to do the things I have to do this afternoon. She is not happy about this.She just took her ADHD med at 12:43pm.
B's OT Observations, #7 , Nov. 7
B awoke at 5:30. He put gum in his sister's hair while she was sleeping. He took his meds at 8am. Thing are going fine at the moment.(12:36pm)
We ran errands. His behavior in the car loud and obnoxious. When asked to stop making noises or singing loudly he only continued. When we returned home he took the dog for a walk. He was constantly on the move.
He went to bed at 7:30pm.
We ran errands. His behavior in the car loud and obnoxious. When asked to stop making noises or singing loudly he only continued. When we returned home he took the dog for a walk. He was constantly on the move.
He went to bed at 7:30pm.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Observations on SE Nov.6 2009
SE was moody, combative and cried about almost everything this morning. She went to bed at 9pm last evening so I know she had plenty of sleep. She was slow to get dressed and take her medicine. Everything was a demand not a request. All in she was very unhappy and unpleasant. She ate breakfast and left for school at 7:30.
She had an early out today at 1:30. When I picked her up she was visibly upset. The school had made her put on a sweatshirt. Today was a free dress day and they deemed her shirt inappropriate. For what reason I have no clue. I do, however intend to find out.
She had an early out today at 1:30. When I picked her up she was visibly upset. The school had made her put on a sweatshirt. Today was a free dress day and they deemed her shirt inappropriate. For what reason I have no clue. I do, however intend to find out.
Journal entry #5 for OT Nov.6th
B awoke early and in good spirits - a little hyper. I dropped him off at school.
I had to pick B up from school early today. I got a call from his teacher. She said he refused to take his lunch time meds and would not complete his math assignment. He was given the choice of completeing the assignment at recess or call me to pick up and coming home with no television, video games, etc..He would not verbally agree to anything but circled the choice of me picking him up.
When I arrived he was tearful. When I asked what was wrong he said he didn't know. It all came down to the fact that he didnn't want to do his math during recess and was angry about it. His teacher and I explained that he'd made the choice had to accept the consequences. He then started to cry and say no one at the school liked him. He changed that to a particular student. We calmed him down and he took his medication. The teacher gave me additional work for him to do as well to keep him occupied for the rest of the day.
Upon arriving home he started to tantrum and ran away from me. He locked the door to his room so I was unable to get to him. My husband had to come home and unlock the door. He was angry with me for enforcing the consequences of his behavior and lashed out at me. I tried to explain his behaving in this manor would only result in more discipline. My husband was able to calm him down and get him started on his work. He completed 6 pages in the workbook sent home. At the moment he is fine. The math is waiting until my husband can help him.
I had to pick B up from school early today. I got a call from his teacher. She said he refused to take his lunch time meds and would not complete his math assignment. He was given the choice of completeing the assignment at recess or call me to pick up and coming home with no television, video games, etc..He would not verbally agree to anything but circled the choice of me picking him up.
When I arrived he was tearful. When I asked what was wrong he said he didn't know. It all came down to the fact that he didnn't want to do his math during recess and was angry about it. His teacher and I explained that he'd made the choice had to accept the consequences. He then started to cry and say no one at the school liked him. He changed that to a particular student. We calmed him down and he took his medication. The teacher gave me additional work for him to do as well to keep him occupied for the rest of the day.
Upon arriving home he started to tantrum and ran away from me. He locked the door to his room so I was unable to get to him. My husband had to come home and unlock the door. He was angry with me for enforcing the consequences of his behavior and lashed out at me. I tried to explain his behaving in this manor would only result in more discipline. My husband was able to calm him down and get him started on his work. He completed 6 pages in the workbook sent home. At the moment he is fine. The math is waiting until my husband can help him.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
An interesting meeting
Yesterday B. had TEFRA or medicaid mandated doctor's appointment with a developmental pediatrician. I was not looking forward to it. We already have a great team in place and went in expecting the worst. I was pleasantly surprised.
In addition to working at the center where we saw him he also works at Dennis Devlopmental where B was diagnosed with Asperger's and where I'm currently trying to get SE an appointment. He asked for a synopsis of B's condition which I gave. At one point I said B was a "slow worker" he quickly corrected me using the word methodical. He said he'd much rather have a methodical judge if he were ever tried for something. He'd much rather have a methodical accountant do his taxes. All in all he was saying methodical was not a bad thing. I totally agree. We also discussed bipolar and o.d.d. He felt that bipolar was not a diagnosis to be given to children. I explained that the medications SE takes were general medications given to bipolar patients and they worked wonders for her. He then went on to explain about medications for mental health and just how much knowledge we lack about how they actually work. He said we are about 50 years behind in this realm. There is always more to be learned and researched. As far as o.d.d. was concerned he said he never gave a child that diagnosis because in his mind there was no hope for it to helped or cured so why would you straddle a patient with something like that.
I will have to have another meeting with him for SE as mandated by medicaid. I look forward to it. He was very gracious with his time, and I came away enlightened. He was also very sensitive to B. At one point B began to tear up, and he called him over for a hug and reassured him things were fine.
In addition to working at the center where we saw him he also works at Dennis Devlopmental where B was diagnosed with Asperger's and where I'm currently trying to get SE an appointment. He asked for a synopsis of B's condition which I gave. At one point I said B was a "slow worker" he quickly corrected me using the word methodical. He said he'd much rather have a methodical judge if he were ever tried for something. He'd much rather have a methodical accountant do his taxes. All in all he was saying methodical was not a bad thing. I totally agree. We also discussed bipolar and o.d.d. He felt that bipolar was not a diagnosis to be given to children. I explained that the medications SE takes were general medications given to bipolar patients and they worked wonders for her. He then went on to explain about medications for mental health and just how much knowledge we lack about how they actually work. He said we are about 50 years behind in this realm. There is always more to be learned and researched. As far as o.d.d. was concerned he said he never gave a child that diagnosis because in his mind there was no hope for it to helped or cured so why would you straddle a patient with something like that.
I will have to have another meeting with him for SE as mandated by medicaid. I look forward to it. He was very gracious with his time, and I came away enlightened. He was also very sensitive to B. At one point B began to tear up, and he called him over for a hug and reassured him things were fine.
SE continuing moods in the mornings
The last two mornings SE has been extremely difficult to wake and upon waking has been tearful and combative. She accuses us of yelling at her when we are not. We are simply trying to get her dressed and ready for school. Yesterday she didn't take her medicine which was layed out on the counter for her and which she was told to take several times. I had to take her medicine to school at 11am.
When I picked her up from school she seemed a little sad. She had wanted to have a friend over this weekend for a sleepover or a playdate on Saturday. Everyone she asked said no. I'd told her to ask earlier in the week, but this seemed to fall on deaf ears. She went to her tennis lesson and came back happy. After dinner she took her bath and was a long time going to bed. She has trouble sleeping. She used to take melatonin for her sleep problems, but has recently refused to do so.
When I picked her up from school she seemed a little sad. She had wanted to have a friend over this weekend for a sleepover or a playdate on Saturday. Everyone she asked said no. I'd told her to ask earlier in the week, but this seemed to fall on deaf ears. She went to her tennis lesson and came back happy. After dinner she took her bath and was a long time going to bed. She has trouble sleeping. She used to take melatonin for her sleep problems, but has recently refused to do so.
Journal Entry # 4 for B's OT Nov. 5th
B. awoke at 6am after going to bed at 7pm last evening. He took his med upon awaking. Everything leading up to school went smoothly. I was told he does not qualify for speechl language therapy. His teacher and I feel that he still needs this. In testing he knew all the correct response, but still does not know how to apply all of them. I spoke with his pragmatics teacher this morning to see if there is a parent evaluation I could fill out that would possible help him qualify. She was not sure. She said she would check into it.
B did not complete his math in class today. Teacher said he was "all over the place". After school did homework with no problems. Dinner then bed at 7pm.
B did not complete his math in class today. Teacher said he was "all over the place". After school did homework with no problems. Dinner then bed at 7pm.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Just a note
I've broken up B's story into separate posts. It's starts out with B's Early years and ends with Our Saving Grace. You'll have to go to the older posts to find the first story.
Every Day Is A New Challenge
We know our problems aren’t over. There are going to be small bumps in the road here and there and the occasional pothole that’s going to throw the whole steering system out of line. That’s to be expected. We’ve come to know one major truth in life and that’s with an Asperger’s child, you really do learn something new every day. The important thing is taking that information and combining it with what you learned yesterday and what you’re going to learn tomorrow. You’re always going to love your kid, but when you temper that love with the knowledge and the wisdom you’ll gain over the years you’ll know how special it is to be the parent of an Asperger’s child – just like me.
I hope this will help others in the same situation and encourage them to find the answers they need. I have purposefully left out my son’s name, individual names and the names of the institutions to protect the privacy of everyone involved.
I hope this will help others in the same situation and encourage them to find the answers they need. I have purposefully left out my son’s name, individual names and the names of the institutions to protect the privacy of everyone involved.
His Saving Grace
Since the beginning of the school, year he’s attended a pragmatics group led by a speech pathologist, group to improve his social skills. The class is taught a local school for children with disabilities. They have a lot of children there with autistic spectrum disorders. I was under the impression that my son was to high-functioning to attend so I never pursued it. A couple of days before his dismissal from his previous school, I got a call from his pragmatics teacher. She told me how well he was doing and said I should consider sending him to school there.
I spoke with the director who was very up front with me, which I found very refreshing. She said they normally would not consider a child like my son because of his emotional issues, but based on his pragmatics teacher’s recommendations they were willing to give him a chance.
He was invited to the school for a visit and loved it! He came home telling us about all the friends he made. He went again the following day and was upset he was unable to stay for the whole day.
Our meeting with the school went well and they offered him placement. Again they told me he never would have been considered were it not for the teacher’s recommendation, but after meeting and spending with him, he made a perfect fit and unlike the previous schools he had attended, they threw aside their rules to make a special exception for his acceptance.
My husband and I had planned a trip to Ireland since the previous December and were due to leave the day after we learned this extraordinary news. We were anxious to get the ball rolling, but we weren’t quite ready to have him start at a new school, even though the place looked like the perfect fit for him – a place where he would grow intellectually as well as emotionally. We happily agreed to wait things out and let him start when we returned. I made arrangements for him to stay with friends during the day while we were gone and his sister was in school. At night, he had the company of both his sister and a friend of ours who as may as well be a child herself. This helped salve my nerves while the two of us were on a different continent an ocean away. If he was still at the other school, I would have been worried sick the entire trip thinking someone was having to come and pick him up for some frivolous reason.
He started at his new school the week we returned and it’s been wonderful. They immediately scheduled him for physical, occupational, and speech therapy evaluations which he would receive on site if necessary.
Now he’s like a different child. He can’t wait to go to school in the morning. He doesn’t mind doing homework. He’s a slow mover from task to task and his teacher says other teachers could easily get frustrated with him, but he’s a very smart boy. His classroom allows him to work at a level at which he’s comfortable. For example, he’s at grade level in math, but above grade level in everything else so he can work ahead in those subject areas. I can’t sing their praises enough. I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it is to have phone calls and notes telling me how great my child is instead of what a problem he is. I thank God every day for sending us there.
I spoke with the director who was very up front with me, which I found very refreshing. She said they normally would not consider a child like my son because of his emotional issues, but based on his pragmatics teacher’s recommendations they were willing to give him a chance.
He was invited to the school for a visit and loved it! He came home telling us about all the friends he made. He went again the following day and was upset he was unable to stay for the whole day.
Our meeting with the school went well and they offered him placement. Again they told me he never would have been considered were it not for the teacher’s recommendation, but after meeting and spending with him, he made a perfect fit and unlike the previous schools he had attended, they threw aside their rules to make a special exception for his acceptance.
My husband and I had planned a trip to Ireland since the previous December and were due to leave the day after we learned this extraordinary news. We were anxious to get the ball rolling, but we weren’t quite ready to have him start at a new school, even though the place looked like the perfect fit for him – a place where he would grow intellectually as well as emotionally. We happily agreed to wait things out and let him start when we returned. I made arrangements for him to stay with friends during the day while we were gone and his sister was in school. At night, he had the company of both his sister and a friend of ours who as may as well be a child herself. This helped salve my nerves while the two of us were on a different continent an ocean away. If he was still at the other school, I would have been worried sick the entire trip thinking someone was having to come and pick him up for some frivolous reason.
He started at his new school the week we returned and it’s been wonderful. They immediately scheduled him for physical, occupational, and speech therapy evaluations which he would receive on site if necessary.
Now he’s like a different child. He can’t wait to go to school in the morning. He doesn’t mind doing homework. He’s a slow mover from task to task and his teacher says other teachers could easily get frustrated with him, but he’s a very smart boy. His classroom allows him to work at a level at which he’s comfortable. For example, he’s at grade level in math, but above grade level in everything else so he can work ahead in those subject areas. I can’t sing their praises enough. I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it is to have phone calls and notes telling me how great my child is instead of what a problem he is. I thank God every day for sending us there.
Second School & Hospitalization Number Two
Both my children started at a new school a month later. From day one, things seemed a little different than in that meeting where we were so graciously greeted and lovingly accepted. There was a new principal who I constantly tried to educate about Asperger’s with countless pages of information about handling children with the disorder, these included personal notes from therapists that were specific to our case. Despite the continuous efforts of my husband, myself and our team of mental health professionals who tried to lessen the blow of having an Asperger’s child in class, we were met with board-stiff rigidity and rock-solid resistance.
The principal called me to pick up my son because became frustrated and lay his head on the desk. These kinds of frivolous matters were the rule rather than the exception. As a result, our son was beginning to stand out in class. The school principal and his teacher were making his behavior a point of discussion and it caused him to question why all of his classmates looked at him differently. He realized that was different and wanted to know why. His depression deepened. I tried explaining about Asperger’s to him in the simplest terms, but that didn’t seem to help. Therapy didn’t help either.
The dam broke when he threatened suicide at school. All of our worst fears and suspicions were crystallized into a single moment of panic when we both realized that things were so bad for him that he’d rather die that go through with his own personal hell anymore. None of us had any idea it was that bad for him.
For his own safety, we returned him to the acute care facility where he spent four days the previous spring. He was hospitalized for nine days. I prayed he would never suffer that again, but it turned out to be the best thing to happen to him. Thanks to the foresight and vast knowledge of his psychiatrist, his medications were all reevaluated and re-prescribed to better suit him. He’s a happier child now because of the work of that one man.
However, easing him back into school wasn’t so easy. His teacher and principal expressed their deepest concerns and sympathies while he was in the hospital. They brought in a resource teacher that was supposed to help the school increase its efforts in helping him achieve his educational goals. We were getting back on track. All of this was explained to us during an hour-long meeting during his hospital stay, at the end of which we were asked to sign a contract which roughly stated our son was going to be allowed back into school provisionally and the minute he let so much as a toe get out of line, he was going to be dismissed. This was all to ensure his safety.
When he returned to school, even less effort was exerted to meet his needs. We never even heard from the resource teacher, but the calls to take him home started his second day back. He was dismissed after his first full week back to the same school that said it was more-than-ready and-willing to work to meet his needs.
The principal called me to pick up my son because became frustrated and lay his head on the desk. These kinds of frivolous matters were the rule rather than the exception. As a result, our son was beginning to stand out in class. The school principal and his teacher were making his behavior a point of discussion and it caused him to question why all of his classmates looked at him differently. He realized that was different and wanted to know why. His depression deepened. I tried explaining about Asperger’s to him in the simplest terms, but that didn’t seem to help. Therapy didn’t help either.
The dam broke when he threatened suicide at school. All of our worst fears and suspicions were crystallized into a single moment of panic when we both realized that things were so bad for him that he’d rather die that go through with his own personal hell anymore. None of us had any idea it was that bad for him.
For his own safety, we returned him to the acute care facility where he spent four days the previous spring. He was hospitalized for nine days. I prayed he would never suffer that again, but it turned out to be the best thing to happen to him. Thanks to the foresight and vast knowledge of his psychiatrist, his medications were all reevaluated and re-prescribed to better suit him. He’s a happier child now because of the work of that one man.
However, easing him back into school wasn’t so easy. His teacher and principal expressed their deepest concerns and sympathies while he was in the hospital. They brought in a resource teacher that was supposed to help the school increase its efforts in helping him achieve his educational goals. We were getting back on track. All of this was explained to us during an hour-long meeting during his hospital stay, at the end of which we were asked to sign a contract which roughly stated our son was going to be allowed back into school provisionally and the minute he let so much as a toe get out of line, he was going to be dismissed. This was all to ensure his safety.
When he returned to school, even less effort was exerted to meet his needs. We never even heard from the resource teacher, but the calls to take him home started his second day back. He was dismissed after his first full week back to the same school that said it was more-than-ready and-willing to work to meet his needs.
A Definitive Diagnosis
Summer came and it was time to meet the doctors and clinicians at the developmental studies center. He saw a developmental pediatrician, a pediatric psychologist and host of other professionals. After a day under the microscope we heard a new, but definitive diagnosis. It was Asperger’s. I knew this in my heart for a long time, but hearing directly was another matter. The professionals at the center explained that it is very common for children with Asperger’s to be misdiagnosed as bipolar or as oppositional defiant considering the rigidity of their personalities. Unlike the haymakers I received upon hearing other diagnoses, I was somehow relieved when I heard he had Asperger’s. I finally knew what was going on – not what was wrong, that’s not the right way to put it – it was more about learning a piece of what made my son who he is, warts and all. I got my son back. I received the gift of my smart, funny, quirky, kind and loving boy who I always knew was capable of great things, but all of a sudden I had the right tools to help him succeed.
Searching For A New School
Now we were searching for a new school. We found what we thought was a great small private school. It looked perfect. We told the principal other administrators about our son’s concerns and were careful to be honest to a fault. We were thrilled when they said they had children there like our son already attending and were ready and willing to help. We worried it was going to be a lengthy struggle to find a private school willing to work with us and we’d heard nothing but horror stories about public schools and the special education programs there.
School Number One & Hospitalization Number One
By the time my son entered kindergarten his teacher complained that he had boundary issues. She told me she didn’t think he had “a firm grasp on reality.” When I asked her why, she said she asked the boys what they liked to do with their fathers. My son told the class that he and my husband enjoyed snowboarding in Alaska. Of course, they have never been snowboarding, let alone snowboarding in Alaska.
I balked at the teacher’s suggestion of dementia, and chalked up his answer to a child’s vivid imagination, which my son has in spades. But I also thought it was probably time to consider new avenues of medical diagnosis and treatment.
Since attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) runs in my family, I thought it prudent to have my son tested. The tests showed that he did have ADHD and our pediatrician put him on medication to treat it.
Aside from a few minor incidents, we thought our problems were solved. He calmed down. His erratic and destructive behavior seemed to be in check. He had lots of friends and got along well with them. Harmony had been restored to our household.
This peace and prosperity continued into the first grade. He occasionally refused to do some of his class work, but his teacher was very lenient with him. If he didn’t want to work, she wouldn’t force it on him. Homework wasn’t even on the horizon yet. He still had plenty of friends and got along well with everyone.
Second grade came around and the trouble started again, but this time it was worse than anything we’d ever seen. It was as if his personality had changed overnight. One day we had a happy-go-lucky, funny and outgoing seven-year-old. The next day he became sad, withdrawn and self-loathing. This was the same little boy could always turn on a cute-as-a-button look or throw out a sharp-as-a-whip quip to keep himself out of trouble. Now he was gone. Somehow, we’d lost our kid in the blink of an eye and we had no idea how it happened.
He told us no one wanted to play with him and no one liked him when he came home every afternoon. The teacher couldn’t easily get him to do his work. He complained that he was not good at it – he wasn’t good at anything. At home he would have outbursts of anger and crying. If he asked for something – regardless of what it was, and it might be anything – and didn’t get it, he would cry and scream that we didn’t love him. Believe me, that’s an effective negotiating technique for any kids who might be following along, but it’s like a knife in the heart for a parent to hear that their own child thinks they’re not loved.
Sometimes he was just destructive and aggressive. One thing was for sure, regardless of the behavior he was exhibiting, he felt alone, angry and scared. He needed help and we were unsure of what exactly to do.
We were at our wit’s end. We were running out of excuses for his behavior and knew it was time to find some answers. I took him for psychological testing again. This time the tests showed severe depression and possible oppositional defiance.
We found a psychiatrist who diagnosed him as bipolar. Even though this diagnosis somewhat in opposition to the test results we received just days before from one of the most respected psychologists in her field, we went along with it. We were prepared to do anything necessary to heal our son and to take away his pain. There was no reason a child of his age should shoulder his burden. We were devastated for him.
As the year progressed, we saw therapists to manage his frustrations and the psychiatrist gave us prescription after prescription after prescription. In the meantime, the level and frequency of his rage increased exponentially. He raged so badly that he occasionally bit into my car doors on the way home from school and left teeth marks. Oftentimes, upon hearing he couldn’t do something trivial such as stop for a snack at a fast food restaurant after school, he took his shoes off and tried eating his socks.
Things at school worsened as well. He would not do his work. He started spinning in the classroom. He refused to leave the playground when recess was over.
His aggression was escalating. At home, he was regularly attacking my husband and me if we asked him to do something he didn’t want to do. This continued hostility forced us to make the most difficult and heart-rending decision of our lives. We had to admit him to a behavioral health hospital for acute care.
I have no idea how any parent can prepare and steel themselves to do this. Despite the difficulty of the decision, the guilt we felt every time we visited and saw his face covered in tears when we had to turn around and leave and the impossibly long days we waited for him to come home, it turned out to be our saving grace. The doctors saw how much and what kind of medication he took they were flabbergasted and immediately set upon reducing the quantities. They said it was likely that all of the drugs in his system were working to his detriment and causing much of his undesirable behavior. My husband immediately ascribed a change in my son’s behavior to yet another medication – his seventh daily pill at the time – prescribed to our son by our then-psychiatrist, and was adamant about pointing it out to the hospital staff.
In our zeal to make our son better, we were quick to overlook the near quackery of this doctor. It seems that during our visits all she did was dole out pills without the slightest concern for whether these cocktails might have a detrimental effect on the health of a second grader. When his behavior or moods changed for the worse quickly or unexpectedly, she was never available by phone. We were only allowed to speak to her secretary who would relay messages to the doctor. Return calls were a rare and surprising luxury.
It’s a given that doctors have a phenomenal workload, and as patients we must respect that. But doctors also have a responsibility. The first four words of the Hippocratic Oath are “First, do no harm.” In this day and age of “miracle” cures, a public perception has developed surrounding medicine, most people expect that they can go to their doctor’s office and get a prescription for a pill to cure almost anything.
Of course, that’s not true. We walk a slippery slope when our physicians believe the PR about all of the latest and greatest medications on the market. When this happens, our doctors – arguably society’s most respected professionals – are no better than snake oil salesmen pedaling patent medicine with questionable ingredients that might further sicken or even kill their patients.
It’s up to us as patients and even more so as parents to make sure that we are seeing physicians that have our best interests at heart. This is especially true with psychiatrists. It’s far easier to notice if a medication is relieving pain or treating an infection than if it’s managing depression or dealing with bipolar disorder. Be sure to discuss your medications with your doctor and don’t always take a prescription on faith. When it comes down to brass tacks, faith is the only defense of faith and that faith can get you killed.
While my son was in the hospital, I received a call from the father of one of his class mates. By coincidence, this gentleman was a psychologist and was also arranged to do my son’s psychological evaluation. For ethical reasons, he wanted my permission to proceed. I agreed and he promised to speak with us after the evaluation. Following the evaluation, he asked if I noticed or thought about any pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD NOS) symptoms. I had, but our psychiatrist dismissed my suggestions. The psychiatrist asked permission to discuss my son’s case with his wife, who is also a psychologist and works at a children’s developmental studies center. Afterwards, she contacted me and offered to put him on the center’s waiting list for a full evaluation. Because of her association with this world-class center, my son was fast-tracked through the waiting list and offered an evaluation in July. It was March 2009 at the time, so we had only a short wait and I was excited to hopefully get to the root of some of my son’s struggles.
Following his hospitalization, I decided to have the Autistic Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS) test administered. The test showed Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD NOS). It’s the first tier of the autism spectrum. We changed psychiatrists and reduced medication, although he still suffered from depression. He returned to school, but the faculty and staff were still unable to manage him. They did their best, but told us that he could not return the following year.
I balked at the teacher’s suggestion of dementia, and chalked up his answer to a child’s vivid imagination, which my son has in spades. But I also thought it was probably time to consider new avenues of medical diagnosis and treatment.
Since attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) runs in my family, I thought it prudent to have my son tested. The tests showed that he did have ADHD and our pediatrician put him on medication to treat it.
Aside from a few minor incidents, we thought our problems were solved. He calmed down. His erratic and destructive behavior seemed to be in check. He had lots of friends and got along well with them. Harmony had been restored to our household.
This peace and prosperity continued into the first grade. He occasionally refused to do some of his class work, but his teacher was very lenient with him. If he didn’t want to work, she wouldn’t force it on him. Homework wasn’t even on the horizon yet. He still had plenty of friends and got along well with everyone.
Second grade came around and the trouble started again, but this time it was worse than anything we’d ever seen. It was as if his personality had changed overnight. One day we had a happy-go-lucky, funny and outgoing seven-year-old. The next day he became sad, withdrawn and self-loathing. This was the same little boy could always turn on a cute-as-a-button look or throw out a sharp-as-a-whip quip to keep himself out of trouble. Now he was gone. Somehow, we’d lost our kid in the blink of an eye and we had no idea how it happened.
He told us no one wanted to play with him and no one liked him when he came home every afternoon. The teacher couldn’t easily get him to do his work. He complained that he was not good at it – he wasn’t good at anything. At home he would have outbursts of anger and crying. If he asked for something – regardless of what it was, and it might be anything – and didn’t get it, he would cry and scream that we didn’t love him. Believe me, that’s an effective negotiating technique for any kids who might be following along, but it’s like a knife in the heart for a parent to hear that their own child thinks they’re not loved.
Sometimes he was just destructive and aggressive. One thing was for sure, regardless of the behavior he was exhibiting, he felt alone, angry and scared. He needed help and we were unsure of what exactly to do.
We were at our wit’s end. We were running out of excuses for his behavior and knew it was time to find some answers. I took him for psychological testing again. This time the tests showed severe depression and possible oppositional defiance.
We found a psychiatrist who diagnosed him as bipolar. Even though this diagnosis somewhat in opposition to the test results we received just days before from one of the most respected psychologists in her field, we went along with it. We were prepared to do anything necessary to heal our son and to take away his pain. There was no reason a child of his age should shoulder his burden. We were devastated for him.
As the year progressed, we saw therapists to manage his frustrations and the psychiatrist gave us prescription after prescription after prescription. In the meantime, the level and frequency of his rage increased exponentially. He raged so badly that he occasionally bit into my car doors on the way home from school and left teeth marks. Oftentimes, upon hearing he couldn’t do something trivial such as stop for a snack at a fast food restaurant after school, he took his shoes off and tried eating his socks.
Things at school worsened as well. He would not do his work. He started spinning in the classroom. He refused to leave the playground when recess was over.
His aggression was escalating. At home, he was regularly attacking my husband and me if we asked him to do something he didn’t want to do. This continued hostility forced us to make the most difficult and heart-rending decision of our lives. We had to admit him to a behavioral health hospital for acute care.
I have no idea how any parent can prepare and steel themselves to do this. Despite the difficulty of the decision, the guilt we felt every time we visited and saw his face covered in tears when we had to turn around and leave and the impossibly long days we waited for him to come home, it turned out to be our saving grace. The doctors saw how much and what kind of medication he took they were flabbergasted and immediately set upon reducing the quantities. They said it was likely that all of the drugs in his system were working to his detriment and causing much of his undesirable behavior. My husband immediately ascribed a change in my son’s behavior to yet another medication – his seventh daily pill at the time – prescribed to our son by our then-psychiatrist, and was adamant about pointing it out to the hospital staff.
In our zeal to make our son better, we were quick to overlook the near quackery of this doctor. It seems that during our visits all she did was dole out pills without the slightest concern for whether these cocktails might have a detrimental effect on the health of a second grader. When his behavior or moods changed for the worse quickly or unexpectedly, she was never available by phone. We were only allowed to speak to her secretary who would relay messages to the doctor. Return calls were a rare and surprising luxury.
It’s a given that doctors have a phenomenal workload, and as patients we must respect that. But doctors also have a responsibility. The first four words of the Hippocratic Oath are “First, do no harm.” In this day and age of “miracle” cures, a public perception has developed surrounding medicine, most people expect that they can go to their doctor’s office and get a prescription for a pill to cure almost anything.
Of course, that’s not true. We walk a slippery slope when our physicians believe the PR about all of the latest and greatest medications on the market. When this happens, our doctors – arguably society’s most respected professionals – are no better than snake oil salesmen pedaling patent medicine with questionable ingredients that might further sicken or even kill their patients.
It’s up to us as patients and even more so as parents to make sure that we are seeing physicians that have our best interests at heart. This is especially true with psychiatrists. It’s far easier to notice if a medication is relieving pain or treating an infection than if it’s managing depression or dealing with bipolar disorder. Be sure to discuss your medications with your doctor and don’t always take a prescription on faith. When it comes down to brass tacks, faith is the only defense of faith and that faith can get you killed.
While my son was in the hospital, I received a call from the father of one of his class mates. By coincidence, this gentleman was a psychologist and was also arranged to do my son’s psychological evaluation. For ethical reasons, he wanted my permission to proceed. I agreed and he promised to speak with us after the evaluation. Following the evaluation, he asked if I noticed or thought about any pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD NOS) symptoms. I had, but our psychiatrist dismissed my suggestions. The psychiatrist asked permission to discuss my son’s case with his wife, who is also a psychologist and works at a children’s developmental studies center. Afterwards, she contacted me and offered to put him on the center’s waiting list for a full evaluation. Because of her association with this world-class center, my son was fast-tracked through the waiting list and offered an evaluation in July. It was March 2009 at the time, so we had only a short wait and I was excited to hopefully get to the root of some of my son’s struggles.
Following his hospitalization, I decided to have the Autistic Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS) test administered. The test showed Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD NOS). It’s the first tier of the autism spectrum. We changed psychiatrists and reduced medication, although he still suffered from depression. He returned to school, but the faculty and staff were still unable to manage him. They did their best, but told us that he could not return the following year.
Journal entry #3 for OT Nov. 4th 2009
B. slept in today (6:30). He took his meds upon waking and his behaviors were normal. Bugging his sister as she was trying to get dressed, complaining of not being able to find his shoes when they right in front of him.
On the way to school we talked about his teacher not being there today and how he need to make a special effort to get his work done. He agreed. We will see how this goes.
B. had a much better day at school. He did complain of falling and hitting his head. After school, in the car he was making random loud noises and being obnoxious in general. When asked to stop he would not. We had Dr.'s appt. and afterward he became agitated because I wouldn't buy him anything from the vending machine.
He was angry and agressive in the car and kept asking if he was in trouble. I told him no, but I didn't appreciate his behavior. At the moment he is fine and has no homework.
On the way to school we talked about his teacher not being there today and how he need to make a special effort to get his work done. He agreed. We will see how this goes.
B. had a much better day at school. He did complain of falling and hitting his head. After school, in the car he was making random loud noises and being obnoxious in general. When asked to stop he would not. We had Dr.'s appt. and afterward he became agitated because I wouldn't buy him anything from the vending machine.
He was angry and agressive in the car and kept asking if he was in trouble. I told him no, but I didn't appreciate his behavior. At the moment he is fine and has no homework.
SE November 4th 2009
Yesterday I filled out the paper work for her to get testing at D Developemental Center and took it to her Dr. to complete and send in. Once DDC recieves it they will call me to set up an appointment. Their waiting list is months long, but I feel she needs to go there in order to get a more definitive diagnosis. I aslo completed the paperwork for speech langauage and occupational therapy evaluations for her at the school B attends. Some of her symptoms are becoming more pronounced, and I think these would benefit her.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Journal entry #2 for OT Nov. 3rd
B. awoke this morning at 5am. He took his meds upon waking instead of waiting until 7am as he normally does. This seemed to help with some his behaviors. There were no problems getting dressed and out the door for school.
Came home from school and pragmatics this afternoon. He has lots of homework which he is doing willingly at the moment. His teacher was absent today and he had to pull a behavior card for not doing his work. The assisant teacher said he was off task all day. I think having his routine disrupted was the cause. His pragmatics teacher said he worked well for her this afternoon.
Completed all the homework he could. He forgot one his books at school. Went to bed at 7:30pm.
Came home from school and pragmatics this afternoon. He has lots of homework which he is doing willingly at the moment. His teacher was absent today and he had to pull a behavior card for not doing his work. The assisant teacher said he was off task all day. I think having his routine disrupted was the cause. His pragmatics teacher said he worked well for her this afternoon.
Completed all the homework he could. He forgot one his books at school. Went to bed at 7:30pm.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Journal entry # 1 for OT Nov. 2, 2009
B. woke up at 3am this morning for the day after going to bed last night at 7:30. He woke us up, but we went back to sleep and did not wake again until 6am. He wanted us to make hashbrowns and had already had cereal and who knows what else. The hashbrowns were spilled on the floor. He was angry that we wouldn't make them. His mood over all was anxious and out of sorts. He cut into a sealed package with a serrated knife. He kept refusing to get dressed for school. When I told him 3 or 4 times to get dressed he accused me of yelling at him and not loving him. He said I wanted him to go back to the hospital. That I was happier when he was there.
Finally we are out the door for school. He wants donuts. He is in the backseat crying and screaming at me saying, "I want to be a better boy, but I can't help the way I act. Why did God make me this way?" I quietly explained to him he was not a bad boy and he could help the way he behaved. I told him he had to make the right choices regarding his behavior. I said it was not right for him to yell and scream and say mean things to me and he had complete control over that. He just had to make the right choice. I got him something from the donut shop and everything was fine. He apologized for his behavior.
I spoke with one of the teacher's assistants at his school this morning. Her grandson is in his class. He and my son have become friends. She relayed to me that her daughter was interested in meeting me and getting them together outside of school. I think this would be a great benefit for my son.
This afternoon on our way to my daughter's tennis lesson he screamed really loud in the car for no apparent reason. He wasn't angry, it was all in fun. I explained to him how inappropriate it was and how it could cause me to have an accident. He said he was sorry.
Later this evening we went out didn't return until 8:30. He immediately went to bed upon returning home. Hopefully this late night will keep him in bed till a decent hour tomorrow.
Finally we are out the door for school. He wants donuts. He is in the backseat crying and screaming at me saying, "I want to be a better boy, but I can't help the way I act. Why did God make me this way?" I quietly explained to him he was not a bad boy and he could help the way he behaved. I told him he had to make the right choices regarding his behavior. I said it was not right for him to yell and scream and say mean things to me and he had complete control over that. He just had to make the right choice. I got him something from the donut shop and everything was fine. He apologized for his behavior.
I spoke with one of the teacher's assistants at his school this morning. Her grandson is in his class. He and my son have become friends. She relayed to me that her daughter was interested in meeting me and getting them together outside of school. I think this would be a great benefit for my son.
This afternoon on our way to my daughter's tennis lesson he screamed really loud in the car for no apparent reason. He wasn't angry, it was all in fun. I explained to him how inappropriate it was and how it could cause me to have an accident. He said he was sorry.
Later this evening we went out didn't return until 8:30. He immediately went to bed upon returning home. Hopefully this late night will keep him in bed till a decent hour tomorrow.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
B's Early Years
My family and I live in the capital city of a small southern state. In the spring of 2001 my husband and I were blessed with our second child, a healthy baby boy. By the time he turned two, I started to notice he was not a typical two-year-old.
He liked meddle with anything he could get his hands on. He choked himself and then squealed with delight.
At about age three, he was developing an adventurous side – which he has to this day – and he indulged it at every turn. To do that, he started running away. Most of the time he was just exploring his own boundaries – he’d duck away from us while we were shopping or run ahead in a parking lot. It was always worrisome, but never anything we couldn’t handle. We thought we had everything under control. We thought he understood all of the dangers inherent in separating himself from us. That’s what we thought until…
One night after putting him to bed and thinking he was sound asleep, he slipped out of the house undetected. Thankfully a neighbor brought him back. She said he was wandering around the block and she thought we’d probably like to have him back. We did and we thanked our neighbor profusely, as we ran through a gamut of emotions.
It was impossible to know what to think with so many thoughts and feelings passing through my head and heart at the same time. Relief. Rage. Panic. Peace. Love. Loss. Fear. Forgiveness. Ultimately we just wanted to find out what the hell he was thinking.
His response was just as simple as it was confusing. He said he wanted to see someone down the street. We had just moved into this house and had been in the neighborhood no more than six weeks. We barely knew anyone who lived in the houses surrounding us and he certainly didn’t. Since we were so happy to have him back, we didn’t give his reasoning much thought. He was just a three-year-old-boy after all.
We did however, address his escape quickly. We installed locks well out of his reach on every door leading outside. We also paid even closer attention to his behavior which, by his fifth birthday, became more and more troublesome.
He started doing things that were both destructive and defied explanation. He tore open a five-pound sack of flour from the pantry and scattered it on the furniture and on the floor. He frequently opened the refrigerator for eggs to crack on the kitchen floor. Once, he opened a 25-pound bag of Basmati rice for the sole purpose of spilling it in the kitchen, the living room and our bedroom.
I talked to my pediatrician about my son’s behavior and told him about incidents such as these on several occasions only to be told that my five-year-old was just a “kinetic learner.” I was disappointed to say the least, and left groping for answers. I still knew something was wrong, but no one was able to put a finger on it.
I'm new to this so bear with me
I've recently written an article about my son's struggles. He was diagnosed with Asperger's in July of this year, he's 8. My daughter also has the same diagnosis, but her presentation is less severe. She also has possible bipolar tendencies and the medication she takes treats those symtoms. They both have ADHD as well. I, myself am ADD, and bipolar 2. The three of us make an interesting grouping. My son recently had some genetic testing done. The results were all normal so I guess it's just a fluke that both my children have Asperger's.
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